Sex Up Your Space ...& Land a Man

Hello friends! I had such a blast writing this latest piece, and I hope that it makes for an enjoyable read for you too! If you like design and love sex, it's a no-brainer!

Sex Up Your Space ...& Land a Man

By Sean Yashar

Instinct Magazine, June 2010.

It’s often said that design is like sex. Decorating, on the other hand...a bit more like masturbation, because let’s face it - a complete collection of Lladró angel figurines strategically placed around your apartment is to please you and you alone. In designing a living space - a dining room, living room or a bedroom - we should be concerned with more than our own aesthetic. We should be sensitive to the needs of potential guests. When a room – let’s say the bedroom - is successfully executed and the chemistry is just right, both parties will, no doubt, experience a feeling of climactic pleasure thanks to, well, the two of you and the power of design. For the single guy looking to decorate his bachelor pad, this concern for mutual gratification becomes even more essential as he designs with his sights on landing a man.

Unfortunately, for bachelors straight and gay, decorating sins start with a fundamental misunderstanding of what constitutes sexiness in the home. In the straight world, bachelors do, in fact, still decorate their pads with the bearskin rug, the time-honored silk sheets and, devoid of concepts of size and scale, that cliché black leather sectional. For the gay bachelor, the design aesthetic can often be equally flawed. The single gay man will fall back on the generous use of decorative pillows throughout his home, the trusty “color scream” (like a color scheme but more overt and gratuitous) and the copycat approach, checking his personal style at the door for what’s absorbed from popular design magazines.

The missteps begin with defining sexy externally- as a certain texture or color. Chemistry between two individuals is a strong yet illusive feeling. Rather than focusing on the superficial in decorating, the single man’s focus may benefit from shifting to an anthropological approach in designing. A little understanding of human interaction can add playfulness and flirtation and make your home conducive to romance.

Underneath the aesthetic value of a fabulously decorated space, you are sure to find a real connection to the human condition. For me, that intersection where a beautiful piece of furniture or decorative object corresponds with our universal experiences is an arousing place that can really set the mood for intimacy. It may not be common knowledge, but sex figures into the function of nearly every object in every room of the home. The modern-day domicile, when deduced, is more or less a place to have sex, and understanding how sexuality exists within the context of your home is a surefire method for designing an attractive living space.

Size Matters
The cardinal sin in most homes is oversized furniture. In the living room, most people believe that the larger the sofa the more comfortable the space. This thinking creates a tendency toward living rooms that are disproportionate in size and scale and that, as a result, can cause an unwelcoming feeling for guests. For the single-and-ready-to-mingle man, the oversized sofa is especially hindering. Rather than a hefty, clunky couch, the aptly named loveseat is a perfect addition to a bachelor pad. It’s designed for the intimate seating of two, making it just right for flirting, canoodling… or more!

Mr. Personality
Studies show that people fall in love when doing new things and having new experiences. For the bachelor, designing with this in mind means interjecting personality. For instance, the coffee table, popularized in the 1920s, found distinction with its informal height and expansive surface perfect for exhibiting personal items. It soon became a central canvas in the home to display personal interests - unique tchotchkes collected on travels and books to express personal taste and spark conversation about new topics for host and guest.

Red Light Special
Romantic lighting does exist. Studies have found that people are perceived as more attractive and open when their pupils dilate, and throughout history women were even known to put drops of poison into their eyes to induce dilation for this very reason (do not try this at home!). Knowing this, the bachelor can easily remedy unattractive lighting and set a seductive and enticing atmosphere with the purchase of lower-watt, eco-friendly light bulbs and dimmer switches.

We Need Space
Rather than defining a room by the objects in it, give the same amount or more attention to the negative space between objects. Understanding empty space as an equal and vital part of a room will lead to a more intuitive arrangement of seating and objects, and this will result in a warmer and more comfortable place for you and your potential mate. And, as we all know, once your company gets into something more comfortable, the deal is pretty much sealed. Kara Mann, leading interior designer and member of The Vogue 100, “a group of influential decision-makers and opinion leaders known for their distinctive taste in fashion and culture,” shares her insights about the importance of space in design:

“You don’t have to fill every nook and cranny of a room with things. An edited space is like a seductive striptease, so pare it down, take it off and allow the room to be at its bare essential. If you have an architecturally significant home, avoid layering in your décor to allow the bones of a space to shine through. A beautiful Louis XVI chair or Rococo carved bench against simple architecture is like a beautiful woman who doesn’t need to wear much makeup.”

Great design sexecution is the difference between a one-night-stand and an LTR. As we explore beyond decoration, trends and cliché’s of the classic bachelor pad, we find that human desire plays an essential role in the design of the home. So put away the phallic candelabras and the other fistful of decorating indulgences and begin to understanding design in the context of human interaction. An insightful rethinking of what creates a sexy space will result in a bachelor pad that’ll be truly rockin’.